Have you heard of the ‘glass balls theory’? It’s a metaphor explained by writer Nora Roberts about priorities and self care. Essentially, in the juggle of life, we tend to think that we have to stop juggling altogether if we want to have a better life balance. We will take care of ourselves when we have finished juggling. But we never finish juggling. Instead, we have to let some of the balls drop out of rotation, retaining fewer balls at an easier pace. Luckily, some of the balls are made from plastic and can sustain the fall. We can pick them up later when we’ve caught our breath. But how do we tell the difference in the moment? Often, cooking dinner from scratch can feel as essential as booking a mammogram, and so we let the consult slide. When every ball is shiny and transparent and we’re frantically busy keeping them air-borne, how can we tell them apart in the first place?

In overwhelm our brains struggle to categorize and sort; enter The Dime Game by Commerce Kitchen. It’s a free app, there’s no ads or login/ email required so I’m not sure how they make money, maybe it’s altruism, maybe they sell my questions on the dark web but ‘should I go to the party‘ doesn’t feel like a scoop and I’m not too worried.

The gist; I pose a question; ‘should I go to the party?’. It will then ask me ten questions about my relationship to the host, the costs to me and the potential consequences of going or not going. At the end, it tells me what to do. Amazing!
Here are some screenshots;

As someone who struggles to put my health above events and obligations, this app was a game changer. It helped me identify my glass balls; recovery, health, meaningful relationships.

Now, I feel more confident in my own boundaries and rarely use the app at all. If something is too much for me I can better prioritize my life and I just bippity, boppity No!

Ok. I promised a thought trick; sometimes when I have to cancel and I am feeling terribly guilty about it, I pause … and acknowledge my arrogance. Yikes!

My thoughts move from ‘they are going to be so disappointed in me‘ to ‘I am not the lynchpin to this party, they will endure my absence’. The truth is; people, largely cope without us. Of course if I am a critical component to the event, I will shift things around and show up. But usually we are peripheral characters and part of looking after ourselves is acknowledging that the world turns without us. 

I still haven’t figured out the FOMO though.

Disclaimer: This app is one I use personally and this post is not intended to be professional advice for you. If it’s useful, note that the app is based on Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, which you might prefer to explore instead.